If you want to know my account, please comment on this journal entry and i will add you.

Why the change?:
I got a new digital camera for Christmas, and I'm going to be using it to take photos ^~^ yay ^~^

Well what happened has happened, no overlooking that.

I've fought it for a while, and now I feel a bit free-er...

Albeit a bit lost. Who can blame me?

In other news, I'm a bit on the sick side right now- so I'll cut this short-

I'm switching Da Accounts, if anyone wants to know my new one, please simply ask in a journal comment.

Those who have been to my house within the past few years, or simply been around me long enough to know me past my semi-distant anti-social nature, you'd know a few things about me that I will touch on.

I am addicted to the following:
Peanuts,
The flavor of oranges,
And Cotton.

No I don't mean the drug... I literally mean that I'm addicted to cotton.

I don't think I could live a day without it... but it wasn't always that way...

Someone close to me brought this upon me. I had begun fighting my addiction quite some time ago, but...

Summer of Sophomore year, before sophomore year started that is... (My apologies for loosing clarity at this precise moment.)

Lips pressed to mine,
Soft whispered chants,
Embracing what was wonderful,
Scared of the inevitable...

Oh that warmth and shiver I felt that say matches almost none...
When it was all gone, peanuts and cotton were what I had left...
Then once I was left, a sign of no return...
Tears flowed from one eye to the other...
Thoughts from one mind to the other...
In my hands a symbol of both my past and hers...
How we had come together at least at the point of that tangent...
And I cherished it for 3 years and 38 days...

Till last 11th...

Where I found myself recalling my true addiction...

from J-Town to the 39th... Then to dance, and one more set of ...

Lips pressed to mine,
Soft whispered chants,
Embracing what was wonderful,
Scared... but not of the inevitable...

As a seer I know first hand,
No future is set in stone...
As a philosopher I believe that,
Nothing in this world is absolute...

I've come to adopt the philosophy of What happens happens...

She's come to actually feel on equal footing with me
(Despite how I still feel she's always been on higher)

((P.S.: She knows me too well.))

There are no better choices,
There are no smarter choices.
There are just the choices we make,
And choices we don't.

That is all.

A while back (and even today in some instances) I have went by the pen name of "Grey." The meaning of this pen name of mine wasn't just to sound cool. It was because at the time, I felt nothing represented my life more than the color of Grey.

Grey is the path in between the light and dark.
Not good or evil,
Not kind or rude,
Not great or bad,
The middle ground I found myself in. (Btw, if you notice, I sorta viewed grey then as the yin yang, thus why i find it so easy to accept the yin yang's ideals.)

(Also as a side note, before I went by grey, someone called me an angel, I scoffed and went on one of my first rants on "How can I be an angel if i'm not good enough to be good, but not bad enough to be bad," thus me going by the grey angel)

Now I was thinking for a moment today on a dream scene someone described involving me. (sorry, I won't explain the dream.) They mentioned vivid colors...

Colors... That triggered a weird memory...

You see, when I was a kid, I was one of the biggest cry babies you'll ever meet. I grew out of most of it thankfully, but that's not the point...

Whenever I was really sad, broken down and crying, I'd cry until I was drained. My friends Cythnia Maria or Justin would come over (yes friends, which means it was after elm school, middle school to be exact, yes that's still kids to me because you're not yet in your teens) and Try to comfort me. Unfortunately, I'd still cry till I was drained before just... Calming down...

If I was still sad a weird thing always happened...

All the color left my world for about 5 to 10 minutes... and everything would turn into various shades of grey. Everything from red shirts, blue pants, green shirts, blond red blue black hair, all of it turned into shades of grey...

Then I'd just sit there, watching. I doubt my friends believed me when I said i couldn't see colors then. I could hardly believe myself...

Just Seeing Grey...